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Blood Root - a How to Guide

 

Hello readers, or listeners to someone who knows how to read this to you! Life is pretty hectic out there in our little corner of the world, the place we call Elysium, and I have to say, it hasn’t been easy keeping our heads from the chopping block lately. To all of you still alive today I congratulate you on still being around to read/listen to this. The Warbands have clashed time and again, and it doesn’t matter if you hail from Briar crown or if you happen to count yourself among the Wolves of Carpathia, we could all use a little help dealing with the difficulties this land has thrown at us. So, while I’m still lucky enough to be drawing breath and traversing this magical place, I’ll attempt to impart some helpful advice and even answer some of your questions. Today’s advice: Blood root

 

You may be thinking: “how hard could it be”, or “Surely anyone can do this?”, or perhaps even: “What is Blood root?” to those questions I’d like to say: “Shut the hell up, and you may learn something!” Now, where was I? Ah that’s right, blood root. It’s a fairly common thing, it can be found anywhere the ground is fertile, and in most cases, many of you have planted blood root without even realizing it. Like the spores that float on the wind blood root grows in our wake, needing only a few alchemic ingredients to fuel its beginnings that are extremely common, and found on most all of us by simple coincidence. What are those ingredients? I’m not going to give away all my secrets, now am I?

 

Now, once all the compounds come together to form the blood root you are going to have to dig it up. Not as easy as it sounds, one wrong move and you will find yourself fouling the root, and destroying all its flavour. Will it still be edible? Absolutely! But it will taste as though you have Just licked a fresh cow pat. So, once you have dug down deep enough that you are getting close to the root I suggest switching to your hands and taking your time scrapping away the dirt, until you reach its shell. Digging up the shell can take a very long time, and a lot of wasted labour, and can even be a jailable offence in some continents not too far of Elysium’s shores, so it’s best to just find the part you want and work around that. You are looking for the midsection of the shell, more towards the head of the pod, but defiantly around the midsection. You’ll need a knife to pierce the outer layer of the shell. Be warned: it will exude a foul smell, so a cloth to cover the mouth is advised. In some cases, it will release fluids around the opening you have made, if this happens abandon ship, the pod isn’t ripe enough and the blood root will be no good. If you open the shell, and you get nothing but smell, then you are right to keep going.

 

From here there is an inner grid of solid protection you are going to need a hammer and chisel to break open. This is where most amateurs make their mistake and ruin the root. Instead of placing the chisel in the centre and giving it an all mighty whack, you need to peel back the outer shell to expose the sides, then very carefully chip at those sides of the hard casing until you weaken and fracture its supports. From there you will be able to push your hands underneath the protection grid and lift it upwards away from the root. If it is still strongly affixed, continue chipping with the hammer and chisel until it breaks free. Once you have exposed the heart you will see where the alchemic ingredients have done their work. On the top left (right as you are looking at it) you will see a big thick swollen vein that the alchemy mixture has solidified into sweet blood root. The thicker the vein the tastier the root. From there simply follow the vein and cut it at its end, also severing it from the heart. Be careful not to puncture the lungs when doing so or you may just release another noxious gas into the air, who knows what this poor bastard died of… well unless you are the one who kill them, then I guess you would know, wouldn’t you! Anyways, just trust me on this one, it’s better to leave what’s trapped in the lungs where it is.

 

So, if you have managed to follow these simple steps you should have yourself a small measure of blood root. The tastiests of foods found on Elysium and full of proteins and nutrients that will help your body become the strongest it can be. Unless of course someone doses you with the blood root alchemic mixture and plants you in the ground, but you shouldn’t worry about that. Nobody lives forever… yet.

 

One last thing, blood root found in bodies buried next to Elysian crystals, have been soked in some form of magic, and give off a completely different taste. I have nicknamed these “Elly roots” and I recommend that giving a few crystals to the grave really makes the taste all the more sweeter and well worth the cost.

 

Thanks for reading, and I invite you to send me your quandaries so that I may impart any useful knowledge I have gained in the matter. Your messenger bird should be sent to: Richiewarsong@gmail.com

Or passed into my hands via messenger, if you don’t value that messenger’s life or wellbeing that is.

 

Until next time

Parn of the Long Feather.

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