Descal: Hello, and welcome to all the warring factions of Neolysium to this, another Common Neolysium News Network segment. I'm Descal the 3rd and recently I got a chance to sit down to dinner and “chew the fat”, as the saying goes, with non-other than Meek, the cook from that treacherous pirate band The Lost. We made a bit of a meal of it, and I believe got our just deserts. Continue below to find out just how the broth turned out…
Descal: So what's on the menu tonight meek?
Meek: Hmm? MMMM!
Descal: Oh really? Surely you don't mean Meeks infamous MMMM mix, that all those who have tasted can't stop raving about? Could you tell us what exactly is in it?
Meek: What’s in it?! Dunno. Think it was Sonnenland...
Descal: An old Sonnenland recipe you say? How did you get your hands on that?
Meek: What? No! It’s Meek’s recipe and Sonnenland is in it! At least I think they are... It could be a mix; Meek didn’t clean her pot from last week...
Descal: …*Cough* I hope it wasn't anyone I knew. That would make things very awkward indeed.
Meek: Probably was. Not just Sonnenland, oh no. Meek’s seen lots of customers, living and not. Care for an... /inside/ scoop? HAH!
Descal: Ummmm, you know what? I ate just before, so I think I’ll go with a hard pass on this one. Now, for those who have been living under a rock and don’t know who you are, could you explain little bit about yourself?
Meek: *disgruntled grumbling* Meek. I cook.
Descal: How descriptive, for those who perhaps haven’t seen you on field before, you seem to get around quite easily despite the fact you have an incredible hunch. Does this in anyway hinder or inconvenience you?
Meek: What? Gary? He’s no bother, no bother at all. He and Meek have been together since Gneiss. Since before Gneiss! If he says anything to you, don’t listen. Full of gossip and harassment claims... As for getting around - heh, getting around - You want to know Meek’s secret?
Descal: Of course, we'd love to hear about this secret of yours.
Meek: Yoga. Meek’s been on boats for a long time and travelled a long way. She learnt ‘yoga’ many years ago and now she stretches every day. Keeps the bones limber.
Descal: And what exactly is it you do with these “limber bones” of yours? How do you spend a typical day?
Meek: Uh... I collect ingredients. Sometimes Kubaftcy Nupe helps and we cook for the crew. When she helps things are easier and Meek makes less mista... improvisations. Meek has bad eyes, see? Can’t see real good.
Descal: Bad eyes? That’s not good, do you find that hampers you on the battlefield much? I’ve heard some people refer to you as the “living whirlwind” with that club of yours.
Meek: Meek can see colour well enough. If it’s not red, it’s dead! Hah!
Descal: Ha indeed. Quite a motto you have there! You mentioned kubaftcy Nupe... I hope I’m saying that correctly... I’ve never heard of this person, is that a family member of yours?
Meek: Ah... I think you call that one Kaito. She’s a custodian. Quite popular if a little demanding at times.
Descal: Custodian? I’ve heard that term before but I’m not 100% on exactly what it means, could you perhaps enlighten those of us who are a little in the dark on the subject?
Meek: Company for hire. Not like the ones itchy sailors flock to. No, she’s classy and selective. And mostly just that, company. Makes good tea.
Descal: Right, I think getting a clearer picture of these “custodians” now. So this... Kaito, she is another member of the Lost is she?
Descal: And you search for ingredients together, and drink tea together also. Would you say most of the Lost are this way? Are you a tight knit group?
Meek: When you sail and fight together for many years, you become more than a crew. You become family. When one is hurt, we all hurt with them. When one dies, part of us dies with them... The Lost are all Meek has left, and I will do whatever it takes to keep them together and smiling.
Descal: Well... I must say… that has taken me quite by surprise, Despite your gruff exterior that really seemed to be a tender thought right from your heart. Could you tell me perhaps your favourite memory you share with your... crew?
Meek: *grumble grumble* Only tender heart I have in one stewed for 8 hours...
Descal: Come on, don’t be shy. We hit a real moment there, tell me more about this “family” of yours.
Meek: They’re loud and hurt Meek’s ears. Especially the smiley one, Parn. And Kaitwe Kau, Tinker, she’s always blowing things up. Makes it hard to concentrate on MMMM... but they look after Meek. Make sure she has a fresh supply of ingredients in a variety of colours.
Descal: So it’s that “comradery” that really hold your crew together for you?
Meek: Yes. We look after each other and have done for a long time.
Descal: So continuing on from that, what’s the worst thing you and your crew has ever gone through?
Meek: Worst thing..? Meek doesn’t understand.
Descal: Something not so good, that has happened to you and your crew. Perhaps some sort of adversary you had to face? Maybe it brought you together, maybe it tore you apart? Maybe it was just something that happened to you without your Lost crew.
Meek: Hmm... the Legion like to pick on us from time to time, but it’s nothing the Lost can’t handle. And those pesky farm birds have a habit of causing us strife. But they’re good company for Patricia. Also, their high alcohol content makes for excellent flambé.
Descal: *Achem* Flambé?... Riiiiight. You mention this Patricia, is she another member of the Lost?
Meek: *She pulls her mace from behind the chair.* Patricia.
Descal: GAH!! Right! Well that’s... um... pretty, yes! Patricia is very pretty! Let’s move on shall we. No need for Patricia... what do you think of Neolysium? Do you like it here?
Meek: Isn’t she just? Anywhere is better than Gneiss. But I’d rather be on a boat. Good thing we have some of those.
Descal: So I take it this Gneiss isn’t some tropical paradise then, could you tell me a little about it?
Meek: Hrm. Meek hasn’t been there in a long time... but the rich prey on the poor and manipulate the truth. No such thing as truth in Gneiss. The Legion treat us like leaves to be crushed underfoot. This place is much better. The Lost are free here.
Descal: Wow, so much to unpack there, let’s start with the easy stuff. Who is this “Legion” who crush others underfoot?
Meek: *shrug* They’re not from Gneiss, but they own it. Big faceless foot soldiers without souls. *she spits*
Descal: And these faceless legion soldiers work for the rich to keep the poor down?
Meek: Something like that
Descal: Right. So, getting back to what you said before, about, this being better for the lost, where they can be free? Is freedom important to you?
Meek: *she holds up her arms to reveal old manacle scars around her wrists* The only thing.
Descal: Hmm. *takes a good hard look at the marks* Tell me, is that your freedom or the freedom of others?
Meek: Is there a difference?
Descal: A very big difference! Do you wish freedom for you and yours? Or do you wish freedom for all?
Descal: Well at least you’re honest. With that in mind, how do you feel about the other warbands in Neolysium currently?
Meek: I can order them by flavour if you like?
Descal: Well why not. Seems as good as a place to start as any.
Meek: Sonnenland are mealy and often come with pre-steamed.
Farmbirds are hop-y and their peasant lifestyle means they’re soft on the teeth. Gotta watch out for bugs though.
Wolves are coarse and tough, but good when slow cooked.
Yorkbury… Grain-fed and clean, though I suspect that Duke would be quite oily.
Walking shrubs are often too green for much else than garnish.
Ironclaw, now there’s a band that enjoys Meek’s cooking! Foul taste though.
The gold laden ones, Forsaken? Never tried it, but I hear they’re not made of meat so Meek has no interest in them.
The black and silver ones I usually stay away from: you never know if it’s dead or not.
The pretty pink ones are sweet with spicy undertones. Makes for a good centrepiece at a feast.
Lost taste of where they’ve been. Which is everywhere. Not good eating, not good.
Descal: ... ... ... ... ... ...ooookaaaaaay. I think we bit of a bit more than we can chew on that one. Interesting point of view though. Would you have a favourite?
Meek: Hmm... farm bird. Easy to chew and in abundance.
Descal: Would you have any special recipes, and specific way you would prefer these “farm birds”?
Meek: I am partial to chargrilled and served with seasonal vegetables. I’ve had a lot of readily available ingredients to work with over the years and can claim the best farm bird flambé in Neolysium!
Descal: I’m sure your crew is very lucky to have you cook for them these… such great delights. And speaking of cooking, I’ve heard rumours around, people speaking about things they have witnessed and one of those tells of your pot! They say it not only has the power to revitalize and heal, but also to cause anguish and death. Are the rumours true?
Meek: It’s all in the spices. *wink* It’s flammable too! -A trick I learnt from Tinker. Hard to make a mixture that heals, kills, and explodes with just the slightest change in composition!
Descal: So your saying that with a slight ingredient change you can alter the contents to either kill or heal or perhaps even explode???
Meek: Correct! It’s a good thing Meek has so much practice or I might kill someone by accident.
Descal: Right, so that doesn’t happen then?
Meek: Never without intention.
Descal: So, taking a somewhat step backwards, this Gneiss you spoke of earlier, the one you are free from. Is that where you were born?
Descal: Did you leave any friends behind when you left to come to Neolysium?
Descal: What about family?
Meek: ... the Lost are the only family Meek has anymore.
Descal: Anymore? May I ask what happened to your family before the lost?
Descal: That’s... I’m sorry. Losing family is always hard, do you feel comfortable talking about it?
Meek: The dead don’t care for sorries. Or stories. And Meek doesn’t either.
Descal: How about rumors? I mean we all come from some place, what do you say to the rumors that you father was an elf and your mother was a goblin?
Meek: HAH! If anything, my father was the goblin!
Descal: So the rumour is based in some reality?
Meek: Who knows? Meek doesn’t. I don’t remember anything about them. So it could be true! *she cackles*
Descal: Do you not remember because it has been so long?
Meek: I choose not to remember because it's not worth remembering.
Descal: And what memories are “worth” remembering?
Meek: If I remembered I'd tell you. HAH!
Descal: Ha indeed! Getting towards the end of this very... enlightening chat we have had, I’d like to ask, how do you feel about all the goings on in this new risen land of ours? What would be your unique perspective of: the ground rising, clay warriors and those pesky Kobalds?
Meek: Nuisance. Meek can't go anywhere without dirt wanting to drag her to an early grave. She won't go like Tanuin... Bah! And Kobolds like to ruin picnics!
Descal: ... Tanuin?
Meek: Tanuin. It means warrior. He was crushed by a golem. His is a memory Meek holds on to.
Descal: So this was a recent loss?
Meek: A few years, but the most recent... Was a good man.
Descal: I’m assuming he was one of your crew?
Meek: Mm. No more.
Descal: So he was? I’m curious. How do the Lost mourn their fallen?
Meek: He was set to sail in a boat we made him.
Descal: Just what... pushed out to sea to float among the waves?
Meek: And burnt.
Descal: Right! Makes sense. Is that how you would like you mortal remains to be dealt with if the worst should come to pass?
Meek: Death is death. It happens and Meek doesn’t care what happens after.
Descal: So, if it were to happen, and you were to shuffle off to: whatever IS next, would you have any regrets about this life you have lived? Anything you wish you had done, or done differently?
Meek: I’d wish... I had taken better care of my own... BAH! Enough! Meek tires of the past!
Descal: It seems like your holding something back, what do you wish you had taken care of?
Meek: *Meek fiddles with her necklace threaded with her Lost feather and three beads of different woods. She scowls.* “Nothing of your business.”
Descal: But what else is my business except to ask you? Is it too close to your heart? Or perhaps to fresh and raw!
Meek: Meek’s mace will be close to your heart in a minute!
Descal: RIGHT! Enough of that then, looking to the future! That seems like a good idea. What lays on the horizon for meek?
Meek: Meek doesn’t know! No point thinking about it because it hasn’t happened yet. Are you done? Meek has MMMM to cook!
Descal: Is there nothing you’d like to accomplish before your life is over? No goal your working towards?
Meek: ...I’d like to serve MMMM to the Emperor one day.
Descal: The emperor? Of Gneiss? What kind of .... MMMM you call it? ... what type of MMMM would you serve them?
Meek: *She gives a wicked grin.* The best kind.
Descal: Well, I think that’s about as clear an answer we are going to get. Meek, thank you so much for joining us, do you have anything else you’d like to add before we finish up?
Meek: …Would you like some MMMM?