Descal: Hello, and welcome to all the warring factions of Neolysium to this, another Common Neolysium News Network segment. I'm Descal the 3rd and recently I got a chance to sit down to dinner and “chew the fat”, as the saying goes, with non-other than Meek, the cook from that treacherous pirate band The Lost. We made a bit of a meal of it, and I believe got our just deserts. Continue below to find out just how the broth turned out…
Descal: So what's on the menu tonight meek?
Meek: Hmm? MMMM!
Descal: Oh really? Surely you don't mean Meeks infamous MMMM mix, that all those who have tasted can't stop raving about? Could you tell us what exactly is in it?
Meek: What’s in it?! Dunno. Think it was Sonnenland...
Descal: An old Sonnenland recipe you say? How did you get your hands on that?
Meek: What? No! It’s Meek’s recipe and Sonnenland is in it! At least I think they are... It could be a mix; Meek didn’t clean her pot from last week...
Descal: …*Cough* I hope it wasn't anyone I knew. That would make things very awkward indeed.
Meek: Probably was. Not just Sonnenland, oh no. Meek’s seen lots of customers, living and not. Care for an... /inside/ scoop? HAH!
Descal: Ummmm, you know what? I ate just before, so I think I’ll go with a hard pass on this one. Now, for those who have been living under a rock and don’t know who you are, could you explain little bit about yourself?
Meek: *disgruntled grumbling* Meek. I cook.
Descal: How descriptive, for those who perhaps haven’t seen you on field before, you seem to get around quite easily despite the fact you have an incredible hunch. Does this in anyway hinder or inconvenience you?
Meek: What? Gary? He’s no bother, no bother at all. He and Meek have been together since Gneiss. Since before Gneiss! If he says anything to you, don’t listen. Full of gossip and harassment claims... As for getting around - heh, getting around - You want to know Meek’s secret?
Descal: Of course, we'd love to hear about this secret of yours.
Meek: Yoga. Meek’s been on boats for a long time and travelled a long way. She learnt ‘yoga’ many years ago and now she stretches every day. Keeps the bones limber.
Descal: And what exactly is it you do with these “limber bones” of yours? How do you spend a typical day?
Meek: Uh... I collect ingredients. Sometimes Kubaftcy Nupe helps and we cook for the crew. When she helps things are easier and Meek makes less mista... improvisations. Meek has bad eyes, see? Can’t see real good.
Descal: Bad eyes? That’s not good, do you find that hampers you on the battlefield much? I’ve heard some people refer to you as the “living whirlwind” with that club of yours.
Meek: Meek can see colour well enough. If it’s not red, it’s dead! Hah!
Descal: Ha indeed. Quite a motto you have there! You mentioned kubaftcy Nupe... I hope I’m saying that correctly... I’ve never heard of this person, is that a family member of yours?
Meek: Ah... I think you call that one Kaito. She’s a custodian. Quite popular if a little demanding at times.
Descal: Custodian? I’ve heard that term before but I’m not 100% on exactly what it means, could you perhaps enlighten those of us who are a little in the dark on the subject?
Meek: Company for hire. Not like the ones itchy sailors flock to. No, she’s classy and selective. And mostly just that, company. Makes good tea.
Descal: Right, I think getting a clearer picture of these “custodians” now. So this... Kaito, she is another member of the Lost is she?
Descal: And you search for ingredients together, and drink tea together also. Would you say most of the Lost are this way? Are you a tight knit group?
Meek: When you sail and fight together for many years, you become more than a crew. You become family. When one is hurt, we all hurt with them. When one dies, part of us dies with them... The Lost are all Meek has left, and I will do whatever it takes to keep them together and smiling.
Descal: Well... I must say… that has taken me quite by surprise, Despite your gruff exterior that really seemed to be a tender thought right from your heart. Could you tell me perhaps your favourite memory you share with your... crew?
Meek: *grumble grumble* Only tender heart I have in one stewed for 8 hours...
Descal: Come on, don’t be shy. We hit a real moment there, tell me more about this “family” of yours.
Meek: They’re loud and hurt Meek’s ears. Especially the smiley one, Parn. And Kaitwe Kau, Tinker, she’s always blowing things up. Makes it hard to concentrate on MMMM... but they look after Meek. Make sure she has a fresh supply of ingredients in a variety of colours.
Descal: So it’s that “comradery” that really hold your crew together for you?
Meek: Yes. We look after each other and have done for a long time.
Descal: So continuing on from that, what’s the worst thing you and your crew has ever gone through?
Meek: Worst thing..? Meek doesn’t understand.
Descal: Something not so good, that has happened to you and your crew. Perhaps some sort of adversary you had to face? Maybe it brought you together, maybe it tore you apart? Maybe it was just something that happened to you without your Lost crew.
Meek: Hmm... the Legion like to pick on us from time to time, but it’s nothing the Lost can’t handle. And those pesky farm birds have a habit of causing us strife. But they’re good company for Patricia. Also, their high alcohol content makes for excellent flambé.
Descal: *Achem* Flambé?... Riiiiight. You mention this Patricia, is she another member of the Lost?
Meek: *She pulls her mace from behind the chair.* Patricia.
Descal: GAH!! Right! Well that’s... um... pretty, yes! Patricia is very pretty! Let’s move on shall we. No need for Patricia... what do you think of Neolysium? Do you like it here?
Meek: Isn’t she just? Anywhere is better than Gneiss. But I’d rather be on a boat. Good thing we have some of those.
Descal: So I take it this Gneiss isn’t some tropical paradise then, could you tell me a little about it?
Meek: Hrm. Meek hasn’t been there in a long time... but the rich prey on the poor and manipulate the truth. No such thing as truth in Gneiss. The Legion treat us like leaves to be crushed underfoot. This place is much better. The Lost are free here.
Descal: Wow, so much to unpack there, let’s start with the easy stuff. Who is this “Legion” who crush others underfoot?
Meek: *shrug* They’re not from Gneiss, but they own it. Big faceless foot soldiers without souls. *she spits*
Descal: And these faceless legion soldiers work for the rich to keep the poor down?
Meek: Something like that
Descal: Right. So, getting back to what you said before, about, this being better for the lost, where they can be free? Is freedom important to you?
Meek: *she holds up her arms to reveal old manacle scars around her wrists* The only thing.
Descal: Hmm. *takes a good hard look at the marks* Tell me, is that your freedom or the freedom of others?
Meek: Is there a difference?
Descal: A very big difference! Do you wish freedom for you and yours? Or do you wish freedom for all?
Descal: Well at least you’re honest. With that in mind, how do you feel about the other warbands in Neolysium currently?
Meek: I can order them by flavour if you like?
Descal: Well why not. Seems as good as a place to start as any.
Meek: Sonnenland are mealy and often come with pre-steamed.
Farmbirds are hop-y and their peasant lifestyle means they’re soft on the teeth. Gotta watch out for bugs though.
Wolves are coarse and tough, but good when slow cooked.
Yorkbury… Grain-fed and clean, though I suspect that Duke would be quite oily.
Walking shrubs are often too green for much else than garnish.
Ironclaw, now there’s a band that enjoys Meek’s cooking! Foul taste though.
The gold laden ones, Forsaken? Never tried it, but I hear they’re not made of meat so Meek has no interest in them.
The black and silver ones I usually stay away from: you never know if it’s dead or not.
The pretty pink ones are sweet with spicy undertones. Makes for a good centrepiece at a feast.
Lost taste of where they’ve been. Which is everywhere. Not good eating, not good.